Krystal Kavita Jagoo, MSW @ Intersectional Equity Insights

This page illustrates how Makai Livingstone, the founder of Embodied Support Services, perpetrated gender-based violence under the guise of "love" for 6.5 years, as my attempt at harm reduction, since learning that I was not his 1st victim.

Accidentally finding Makai Livingstone's wedding registry with another woman was not on my 2024 Bingo card, yet that happened on September 16 of last year, after financially supporting him for 6.5 years, as I became increasingly traumatized and disabled throughout cycles of overwork and burnout. 

I share this because I do not want to live in a world in which fat brown queer disabled immigrant women are victim blamed for trusting a man who claimed to love them while weaponizing the oppressed parts of his identity to cause harm.

Especially if you unfamiliar with me on a personal or professional level, my decision to share how I was taken advantage of may seem like an effort in futility when we know how rarely fat Black and brown femmes are ever protected, yet illuminating performative problematic entities has been my legacy for years, as seen here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. 

Shortly after discovering the betrayal, I received a direct message on Instagram from a fellow fat femme of colour about how she too had been gaslit by Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services when they had been together!  👀

Despite how often fat brown queer disabled immigrant women are deemed disposable for sharing how we have been harmed, I will always attempt to protect others from suffering my fate, as I wish someone had warned me about the predator Makai Livingstone is, as it could have saved me 6.5 years of financial and emotional abuse that further disabled me. Although I have been warned by my transformative justice study group that I may be perceived as gullible for sharing how I was betrayed by Makai Livingstone, but the thought of him doing this to any other BIPOC LGBTQIA+ disabled folx keeps me up at night, the way worrying about my more marginalized partner once did, but during those 6.5 years together, he likely lied more than he told the truth! 🤥

What makes his violations much worse is that he was presenting workshops for Planned Parenthood about Healthy Relationships, while engaged in rampant gender-based violence against someone that he claimed to love for 6.5 years! 🗑️

As a fat brown queer disabled immigrant woman, I am accustomed to being treated as disposable by the masses, as I know this every time I navigate unmasked individuals in public during a global pandemic that disables and kills us, but I have not been so violated by someone I was disabling myself to support! 💔

I understand that I may be perceived as bitter, but the alternative is to be complicit in enabling further harm to multiply marginalized individuals who may, like me, assume that because he delivers workshops on equity issues, then he can be trusted to not weaponize care for him to cause them such grave harm, which is why I am sharing my devastating story as an attempt at harm reduction to protect other potential multiply marginalized victims of Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services! 🥺

Maybe you think that I should have known better, but I thought I was nurturing access intimacy with a fellow BIPOC LGBTQIA+ disabled trauma survivor by meeting him where he conveyed he was at. Especially as a fat brown queer disabled immigrant woman, I knew how more privileged folx harmed me when they failed to believe the oppression I faced, so I believed that this man loved me from May 2018 to September 2024, given that he messaged that almost daily, while weaponizing social justice verbiage to take advantage of my feelings for him. Upon seeking clarification regarding his wedding registry, he deflected with feedback that initially made it clear I never mattered to him. I could tell you all the ways in which his gender-based violence (GBV) demolished me, and maybe someday I will delve into all those details in a memoir, play, etc., but my current priority is to illuminate how his harms constititute, "Access Intimacy Abuse."

If unfamiliar with Mia Mingus' concept of Access Intimacy, she defines it as, "that elusive, hard to describe feeling when someone else “gets” your access needs," so I have coined the term, "Access Intimacy Abuse" to reflect that it can be an elusive, hard to describe feeling, but unlike when one “gets” one’s individual access needs, abuse happens when that perceived access intimacy is used to exploit that person, who views their abuser as “safe,” based on shared experiences of oppression, which are expected to inform their values and actions.

Given how much more I struggle following the ordeal of 2301+ days of abuse from Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services, others in my position may have conserved their few spoons for paid work, but I need to know that I tried my hardest to ensure that I was his last victim, as nobody deserves such agony! If reading this fuels a barrage of victim blaming from you, then you are likely not other potential easy marks for Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services, and they are the ones for whom I share this story, the way I only wish I had been warned about him! 💩

Back in 2016 when served with a letter from the white supremacist Executive Director of the North Durham Family health team that stated, I was "hired to practice social work, not social justice," I could find no published stories like mine, so I wrote about those experiences, so other marginalized groups knew they were not alone. Had I the option to go back in time to somehow know better and never trust Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services, I would jump at that opportunity, but this more traumatized disabled version of me in the aftermath of him is all that remains, yet I can still use writing as a tool against oppression, how I have long done. Over these last 13 months, it has been devastating to reconcile that this man must have truly hated me to siphon all my capacity, while devoting all of his to my replacement about whom he actually cares, while DMing me sweet nothings to maintain my financial support of him, despite how much further it disabled me! 🐍

Finally, I want to congratulate Mrs. Livingstone, with whom he is excited to raise children, as they should have just celebrated a year of wedded bliss! For their sake, I hope she can protect those kids from the kind of harm I experienced, despite tremendous doubts that anyone can, as I reflect on my own foundation of pathological liars for parents whose legacy still hurts me. In fact, since learning of his betrayal, I have thought a great deal about how my late grandfather loved me unconditionally, despite how he weaponized infidelity and toxic gaslighting against my beloved grandmother, so men have long treated some women well while actively harming those of us whose humanity they fail to see. Speaking of sight, I am reminded that I had taken a high-interest medical loan in 2020 to pay for Makai Livingstone's eye procedure, which I finally paid off in 2024, the year the happy couple wed! 🎉

For a long time, even as I suffered white supremacist workplace harassment on Jordan Peterson's old stomping grounds, I never regretted being there, as it still represented where I met my partner of 6.5 years, but Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services has made himself my greatest regret! Since I know not how to time travel back to his workshop in 2018 wherein I first believed him to be a fellow equity practitioner, I am left with trying to protect others from being harmed by him the best way I know, in writing to warn folx, by disclosing his diabolical violations.  Regardless of whether I am successful or not, I need to know I tried my hardest to protect others at every turn even at my own expense, as my attempt at ensuring community safety could lead to fresh fuckery from "evil passing himself of as a person," to take some liberties with Nikki Giovanni's words that helped me cope! 🙏🏾

Now that I know his wife is an instructor at the very institution that discarded me, I am reminded of that 2019 moment in a Toronto restuarant when he encouraged me to complete my PhD at the very university where I risked cussing out fuckers daily, so he finally got that partner with a PhD while I only wish I had left then. Like I said at the beginning, he should have killed me, as that was the only way I would not try to warn others after this disappointment of a man dug my fucking grave, and after lying to me, manipulating me, exploiting me, and further disabling me, killing me feels like the natural progression after making my existence such awful agony despite knowing how the experience of white supremacist workplace trauma that left me jobless made me feel like a shell of the person I was before that constructive dismissal! 💔

In 2016, before meeting this predatory parasite of an ex, I wrote this:

If they ever bother to ask, be sure to tell them that white supremacy killed me! Presumably not the police brutality kind that drives my countless BLM posts though, But a slow death that seems to extend daily with no end in sight and no one to sue!
I painstakingly toned down my ideas to each syllable I carefully let out my lips!
Yet they routinely twisted my words to fit their fairy tales over my harsher truths, Always demanding more, breaking my spirit, until only ash remains of my strength!
Don't you dare have only sad feelings, although those would be understandable! But be rightfully angry that white supremacy extinguished my once bright flame, Utilize that fury for strides like I made from my ancestors' trauma in the cane fields!

Back then, I could never have imagined that a more marginalized person could have been as diabolical as Makai Livingstone of Embodied Support Services in exploiting my effort at nurturing access intimacy with a man who claimed to love me, but now that I am financially ruined, emotionally debilitated, and further disabled, I welcome the sweet slumber death offers, so long as folx know the greatest weapon against me was never white supremacy, ableism, or anti-fatness, but a man who carved my trust into a knife he stabbed into my heart. Who knows how many lies he told over 2301+ days but he was right about his last birthday greeting to "the best Gemini around," because I remain that! ♊

As you can see from my Ex-Inspired Access Intimacy Abuse Snakes & Ladders Game Board hermit crab essay above, I can only use the term, "Emotional Incarceration" to capture my experience of his diabolical exploitation of me. When he was hospitalized within weeks of our 1st date, I told myself I needed to be the most supportive partner ever, but my commitment to Disability Justice made me the easiest of marks for a man who would drain me of $183,364 in e-transfers over 6.5 years, only to claim I knew he was polyamorous and he did not feel he could share his marriage update since I was in survival mode WHICH HIS FINANCIAL ABUSE PUT ME IN when confronted about his wedding registry with another woman, and in just 10 days, he would make this public Facebook post, continuing to gaslight me:

It took me over a year from when I found the wedding registry to when I brought myself to total the most conservative estimate of his financial abuse, as here are examples of the kinds of debt I found myself in when he claimed he was suicidal, aside from the possibility of filmmaking, but he required an Apple computer to pursue that in 2019, and when he claimed he would go blind without an eye procedure he could not afford, nor could he qualify for credit, then gaslit the fuck out of me when I asked if there were any other options, which never made me feel safe to question if he was exploiting me, which just made me the most succulent of prey for a predatory parasitic partner, who harmed me galore! 💔

Anyway, happy 1st wedding anniversary to my worst abuser, Makai Livingstone, and his beloved wife, as sometimes the only thing that got me from one day of existence to another was knowing that at least I was not married to a man who would exploit a fellow racialized woman he claimed to love for 6.5 years but I kept going because I was not his 1st victim, as I heard from another fat femme about how she was harmed by his toxic gaslighting of her! 🎉

Like I stated at the top, he should have killed me, as that would have been the only way I would not have carved my very bones into knives in the absence of spoons thanks to his exploitation of me through cycles of overwork and burnout that  traumatized and further disabled me, and after lying to me, cheating on me, stealing from me, and lying on me, before publicly gaslighting me, killing me feels like the final step after digging my grave over 6.5 years of Access Intimacy Abuse and Emotional Incarceration! 🔥

For my 39th birthday, I launched LURNN, which included this:

Back then, I had not known of his betrayal, but even a cursory glance below shows how his financial abuse applies to the same timeline, and it becomes abundantly clear that the greatest risk to my existence was never white supremacy or settler-colonialism or ableism as much as my predatory parasitic ex, and given that he cosplays as a helping professional, I have forced myself to stay alive just long enough to illuminate his fuckery, because he and every abuser deserves to know we were never fucking disposable! 🔥

I may never recover from Makai Livingstone's Access Intimacy Abuse, but I have finally managed to warn others whose commitment to Disability Justice may make them another easy mark for the founder of Embodied Support Services:

The fact that my ex's abuse coincided with my experience of workplace harassment and constructive dismissal from Canada's largest university and alienation of potential employers and clients through my public pro-Palestinian liberation stance following Arts Etobicoke's censorship of my exhibition art in 2023  means that I am much more likely to apply for a medically assisted death (given how much more traumatized and disabled I am in the aftermath of my ex's abuse, which limits my ability to barter my humanity enough to afford to exist under racial capitalism) than ever recover from the last decade of trauma upon trauma! 💔 

Some know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, so I hope that folx read my story and understand that abuse can look like my narrative too, when subjected to Access Intimacy Abuse and Emotional Incarceration. If you may benefit from my hermit crab essay in the form of an Instruction Manual for Surviving Access Intimacy Abuse, you are welcome to download it for free below, as I hope it can help others cope.

Given how my ex's exploitation, as I grew increasingly traumatized and disabled by white supremacist workplace harassment has resulted in the worst financial precarity of my life, I crafted the bingo card below in 2024, which still displays squares that apply to my desperate circumstances to ensure that folx understand how my ex literally endangered my life with his financial abuse, about which, he publicly gaslit me.

Please note that while I experienced Access Intimacy Abuse in the context of a personal relationship, I have also presented on the concept of Access Intimacy Abuse, as it applies to social justice-oriented community activist and academic spaces, with my friend, Siva Thangeswary Sivarajah at the 6th annual international Centre for Leadership and Diversity conference at the Ontario Institute of Equity Studies (OISE) on the theme of “Leadership for Renewal, Sustenance, and Resistance in Challenging Times” on October 16, 2025. Our presentation slides, including the readings referenced, can be reviewed below.

If able to contribute to my survival following my ex's rampant abuse over 6.5 years, which further disabled me, e-transfers within "Canada" may be sent to krystaljagoo@gmail.com and funds may be sent via PayPal below so please consider helping.

If keen on offering me remote work at a liveable wage, please email me at Krystal@EquitableForAll.com as I have not even been able to afford to file my income taxes since 2020 due to my ex's abhorrent financial abuse, but I remain a fat brown queer disabled immigrant woman who lives her values to the point of endangering her life, with 15 years experience as a registered social worker until the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers failed to even call for a ceasefire despite witnessing intensified Palestinian genocide throughout 2024, in roles like Mental Health Therapist, University Instructor, Accessibility Advisor, Artist, Intake Coordinator, Workshop Facilitator, Tutor, Accessibility Coordinator, etc.

Given exceptional challenges finding paid work since my commitment to Disability Justice can alienate many who are less progressive than they think, if you need a skilled writer to deliver a webpage like this, please know I am available, and my attention to detail is why I proofread my favourite living poet's latest book, Dara Kalima's, It Is Abnormal to Ban Poetry! 🔥