How Alice Wong Informs My Journey to Becoming an Eagerly Claimed Disabled Ancestor

I will always remember Alice as the person who taught me about ancestors. She'd said something about reaching out to your ancestors, and I was like, oh we definitely don't want to bring my ancestors into this!! Alice explained to my white ass that by ancestors, she doesn't necessarily mean literal ancestors. Our ancestors are the people who walked these paths before us, and smoothed our way. For a white girl from an abusive, evangelical background, it was like a wall fell. Suddenly, i wasn't just part of the disabled community. I was part of a family. I had ancestors <3"

Before the massive colonial project of Western European expansion, we understood the nature of interdependence within our communities. We see the liberation of all living systems and the land as integral to the liberation of our own communities, as we all share one planet. We attempt to meet each other’s needs as we build toward liberation, without always reaching for state solutions which inevitably then extend its control further over our lives."

We create loving interdependence that supports our struggles against a world that relies upon myths of individualism in order to justify systems of exploitation. We collectively develop an awareness of our respective needs and capacities, of what and how we’re giving and receiving, without succumbing to tit-for-tat accountings of our debts to one another...How could one possibly quantify the myriad ways we might lend our bodies, minds, and hearts in service to one another?"

What do we leave behind when we are gone? Perhaps one part of my legacy is how I cherish the legacies of my loved ones. Stacey [Park Milbern] left a body of work in the form of writing, interviews, videos, poetry, images, a Bay Area disability justice collective, and more. She also built relationships that are as enduring and tangible as a single story or book. The real gift any person can give is a web of connective tissue. If we love fiercely, our ancestors live among and speak to us through these incandescent filaments glowing from the warmth of memories. Loving fiercely is real-life legacy building. Maybe that's the best way to honor people. One day I will have ice cream with Stacey and talk shit about people again. I can't wait."

Creating that family tree of My Disabled Ancestors got me thinking about all my disabled loved ones who have kept me here for years, from the single remaining close white friend from grad school who has paid for my monthly liquid iron supplements after learning my labs in 2022 were worse than theirs after a traumatic childbirth, to the brown friend with the most adorable 7-month old baby who sends funds even as I struggle to find the words to thank him, to the brilliant Black motherly friend who lights candles for my success and ensures I always have pirated media to keep intrusive thoughts about surviving GBV at bay, and all the disabled (including chronically ill, sick, neurodivergent, & mad) Bluesky buddies in between, who share and fund my mutual aid requests when able, as each and every one of you belong on the above image upon your passing, so thank you for keeping me here to do this Disability Justice work!🙏🏾"